New Year’s Personal Resolution/Focus and Option Solving

Going back to December 24th’s posting, we will probably have our professional/career priority or focus set for 2010 by now. This allows us the time to focus on our personal resolutions for the New Year. Of course there are those who would argue for doing it the other way around and that will be fine, too. Although there are some lucky folks who have an inner compass that keeps their lives on track over the course of a year, most other folks will do much better by clarifying their personal focus by early 2010.

With the use of Option Solving, your first step is to define the right question. Take the example of a widower friend: his wife died when their kids were still teenagers. His question could be, What focus will give my personal life a real boost in 2010, so that I can feel centered, have consistent companionship and enrich my life in other ways?”

Getting this question right is an important beginning but establishing the right, contrary bookends are just as important: for example, 1) Keep paddling away with current unclear relationships, and, at the other end, 2)Take off for Europe and return with a new bride. As a European who has lived in the US for many years, with two grown American offspring, the latter would not be totally off the wall but highly unlikely.

Bookends spur the more creative juices to start working as the intuitive mind starts searching for other more appropriate options between these two unlikely, diverse alternatives (see Chapters 5 & 6 in the book). Potential options for him would include: A)?, or B) Join a quality dating house, or C) Immerse myself in my seafaring hobby, or D)?, or E) Revisit all recent happier relationships and rekindle the right ones.

What he chooses is not important to dwell on, since only he can determine his intuitive, rather than rational, choices as he sees them. But, after an appropriate degree of “emotional distancing’ (see book), he can benefit from at least 5 alternatives for his intuitive senses to assess and choose his best possibility. Either within a few hours break or an overnight recess, he would come out with a clear choice. He will then be committed to that choice because he will have considered all other reasonable choices: this is a major benefit from option solving…rather than continuing to second guess himself. (Note: The next posting about my other student-daughter’s option solving exercise, to determine how to deal with a new part-time hookah bar job, will be within 7 days.)

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