Your editor did have breakfast with a friend recently, who fairly quickly got into some of the challenges he was having in strengthening relationships with his children. Things had been deterior-ating over quite a long period of time, so it wouldn’t be easy to turn them around into a more normal pattern. Nevertheless, he was open to ideas and suggestions that may help things improve.
After introducing the idea of option solving, he was willing to give it a shot for anything that might help. Consequently, they set-up the following option solving question to get the ball rolling: “What is my friend’s best option for strengthening relationships with his children; considering 1) deteri-orated over fairly lengthy period of time, 2) both are into other close relationships, 3) both have developed their own different worlds, and 4) they are both gay people, whereas my friend is straight?” Again, it’s appropriate for him to focus on just these four considerations to reduce complexity in his eventual decision, when that ultimate moment arrives – despite there being many other possible considerations out there.
They then established appropriate yin and yang “bookends,”as these will help keep his mind focused against other immediate mental distractions. Bookends such as these are vital for preventing our fertile intuitive minds from wandering and losing concentration. We are mostly unaware of how powerfully valuable but foot-loose our intuition can be unless we can keep it properly focused on such occasions.
These were: “Live and let live” – Possibility of drifting even further away;and “Shower them with whatever they want” –Budgetary issues and lack of authenticity. You will note the italicized detractors associated with these least likely options, which shows why they are not a good idea for consideration. Even so, these bookends now nudged his intuitive thinking into high gear again to come-up with a range of realistic options – see ourLatest Worked Example.
From there, they worked-on creating his friend’s five plus most realistic sub-options – A thru E to F – which were then ready for his friend to consider after emotional distancing beforecoming to any final decision. His friend can then review these declared options, perhaps after 2 hours, later in the day, or first thing the following morning, before arriving at an optimal conclusion. You can replace his proposed options with any new ones of your own.
While these six options looked interesting, he was especially intrigued by – Option C: Show a regular interest in what they’re doing. His friend subsequently decided to sleep on it and seek input from others before the following morning and then proceed accordingly. He was strongly advised to stick with his overall, intuitive choice.
If you have an example of your own, please share it with this blogger, through the COMMENTS area or contact him at peter@ileadershipsolutions.com . Thanks Option Solving. (NOTE: Our next posting will be in two week’s time: “Peel the Onion: What is friend’s best option for strengthening relationships with his children?” Let’s have your COMMENTS or go to peter@ileadershipsolutions.com . Allow time to connect with the blogger. Also consider buying the book: “Smart Decisions: Goodbye Problems, Hello Options” through amazon.com)
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