What is best way for Ralph to re-set personal relationship with former spouse: by way of using Option Solving?

Your editor’s friend Ralph from Eire is concerned about an apparent silence from former spouse during recent times; notwithstanding there are always ongoing normal needs and issues with their two sons also in Eire. Ralph has been constrained from visiting them owing to the Covid virus and continued spikes in that country – even though Ralph has been appropriately vaccinated. He has been chewing over his best course of action and decided to utilize Option Solving to indicate his optimum solution.

With that technique in mind, he put together his initial question as follows: “What is best way for Ralph to re-set personal relationship with former spouse; considering 1) they haven’t seen each other in a long time, 2) important to continue contact for sons’ sake, 3) circumstances may have changed for former spouse, and 4) she is maybe frustrated at his limited family interaction due to Covid?” It’s appropriate for Ralph to focus on only four considerations to reduce the complexity of any eventual decision – when the ultimate decision moment arrives – despite there being many other possible considerations out there.

Ralph was then encouraged to choose two appropriate yin and yang “bookends”,as these would help keep his intuitive mind focused against other mental distractions. Bookends such as these are vital for preventing our fertile intuitive minds from wandering and losing concentration. We are mostly unaware of how powerfully valuable but foot-loose our intuition can be unless we can keep it properly focused on such occasions.   

His ultimate two bookends turned out to be: “Ride out the possible storm” May deepen the trough;and “Send some sort of contact ultimatum” May exacerbate the situation. You will note the italicized detractors associated with these least likely options, which therefore put them out of consideration. Even so, these bookends will now nudge his intuitive thinking into high gear to find more promising options – see ourLatest Worked Example.

He ultimately came up with his six most realistic options” – A thru F – after additional thought. Now he was positioned to pursue emotional distancing beforehe proceeded with any outcome decision. He would then review these declared options, perhaps after 2 hours, later in the day, or first thing the following morning, before arriving at an optimal conclusion. You can replace his proposed options with any of your own.

While they all look quite relevant, Ralph was initially particularly intrigued by – Option A: Contact  her sister for advisory. Ralph decided he would sleep on it until the following morning and then act accordingly. He would stick with whatever option his intuition chose to avoid unhelpful confusion.

If you have an example of your own, please share it with this blogger, through the COMMENTS area or contact him at peter@ileadershipsolutions.com .  Thanks Option Solving. (NOTE: Our next posting will be in two week’s time: “What is Ralph’s best option to pursue with his sons, while he repairs personal relationship?” Let’s have your COMMENTS or go to peter@ileadershipsolutions.com to connect with the blogger. Also consider buying the book: “Smart Decisions: Goodbye Problems, Hello Options” through amazon.com)


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