What is my friend’s best option for remaining whole with his partner; by way ofusing Option Solving (OS)?

A close friend shared how he had experienced a pretty rough period with his partner, after a number of years in a fairly happy relationship. His partner had been pretty angry at how he handled a family situation, somewhat unfairly in his opinion, and so was left wondering about the future of their relationship. He and your editor agreed it was a good moment to utilize option solving to figure his friend’s optimum approach in the circumstance.

His friend decided to pose an appropriate question: “What is my friend’s best option for remaining whole with his partner; considering 1) have hung together over many years, 2) enjoyed many times together, 3) current tensions over dealing with kids, and 4) regular financial issues?” Again, it’s appropriate for him to focus on just these four (normally recommend you stick with just four) considerations to reduce complexity in his eventual decision, when that ultimate moment arrives – despite there being many other possible considerations out there.

He now had to figure-out possible yin and yang “bookends,”as these will help keep his intuitive mind focused against other immediate mental distractions. Bookends such as these are vital for preventing our fertile intuitive minds from wandering and losing concentration. We are mostly unaware of how powerfully valuable but foot-loose our intuition can be unless we can keep it properly focused on such occasions.   

The bookends he decided upon were: “Just ride it out to let things blow over”May leave things too much to chance;and “Take time away on a fabulous vacation” Stretch budget and start a negative financial trend that won’t help. You will note the italicized detractors associated with these least likely options, which show why they are not really for consideration. Even so, these bookends now nudged his friend’s intuitive thinking into high gear again and consider a range of realistic options – see ourLatest Worked Example.

He then put together six realistic options – A thru F. He was then ready to pursue emotional distancing once more beforecoming to any outcome decision. He can then review these declared options, perhaps after 2 hours, later in the day, or first thing the following morning, before arriving at an optimal conclusion. You can replace his proposed options with any new ones of your own.

While all these options look interesting, he was especially intrigued by – Option D: Show special interest in partner’s activities. He subsequently decided to sleep on it and seek input from others until the following morning and then proceed accordingly. He is strongly advised to stick with whatever option his overall, intuitive choice turns out to be.

If you have an example of your own, please share it with this blogger, through the COMMENTS area or contact him at peter@ileadershipsolutions.com .  Thanks Option Solving. (NOTE: Our next posting will be in two week’s time: “What is my sister’s best way forward in her semi-retired life?”  Let’s have your COMMENTS or go to peter@ileadershipsolutions.com . Allow time to connect with the blogger. Also consider buying the book: “Smart Decisions: Goodbye Problems, Hello Options” through amazon.com)


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