What is my friend’s optimum personal option to sustain his marriage: by way of using Option Solving (OS)?

Over lunch with your editor recently, a close male friend shared his concern regarding a recent threat to his pretty solid marriage. A fairly recent building, female resident had formed a friendship with his wife and had more than once suggested the two women take a vacation together. This woman is middle-aged and is currently single after a divorce some while back from her husband. It’s clear she prefers the company of other women. She’s also an accomplished psycho-analyst, consequently is practiced at influencing others according to her viewpoint. Your editor also knows that the female friend in question has already disparaged his friend to others in their building, even though there’s no reasonable justification.

Together this editor and friend put together an appropriate option solving question: “What is my friend’s optimum personal option to sustain his marriage; considering 1) relationship with wife is pretty good, 2) predator, female friend wants vacation opportunity with wife, 3) female friend is middle-aged, single woman, and 4) female friend is accomplished psycho-analyst and skilled at persuading others?” Again, it’s appropriate for his friend to focus on just these four considerations to reduce complexity in his eventual decision, when that ultimate moment arrives – despite there being many other possible considerations out there.

They then came up with appropriate yin and yang “bookends,”as these will help keep his friend’s intuitive mind focused against other immediate mental distractions. Bookends such as these are vital for preventing our fertile intuitive minds from wandering and losing concentration. We are mostly unaware of how powerfully valuable but foot-loose our intuition can be unless we can keep it properly focused on such occasions.   

The two extreme new bookends they decided he should consider, to flush out his most practicable options, are: “Just play along and hope for the bestExtra stress with no resolution;and “Capitulate if that’s what wife wants” Very unhappy future. You will note the italicized detractors associated with these least likely options, which shows why they are not a good idea for consider-ation. Even so, these bookends now nudged his friend’s intuitive thinking into high gear again to come-up with a range of realistic options – see ourLatest Worked Example.

They then posed six realistic options – A thru F – which were then ready for his friend to consider after emotional distancing beforecoming to any final decision. He can then review these declared options, perhaps after 2 hours, later in the day, or first thing the following morning, before arriving at an optimal conclusion. You can replace his friend’s proposed options with any new ones of your own.

While all these options look interesting, he was especially intrigued by – Option C: Friend share with wife: Strong possibility that their spousal relationship will never be the same after such an intended vacation. His friend may subsequently decide to sleep on it and seek input from others before the following morning and then proceed accordingly. He’s strongly advised to stick with his overall, intuitive choice.

If you have an example of your own, please share it with this blogger, through the COMMENTS area or contact him at peter@ileadershipsolutions.com . Thanks Option Solving. (NOTE: Our next posting will be in two week’s time: What is editor’s best option for promoting his future book?”  Let’s have your COMMENTS or go to peter@ileadershipsolutions.com . Allow time to connect with the blogger. Also consider buying the book: “Smart Decisions: Goodbye Problems, Hello Options” through amazon.com)


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